Have You No Shame


Sneakerheads:

The class of people who spend ample amounts of money on release-date shoes (the typical brands being Nike and Jordan).  They walk around with an air of showmanship, as they know that their footwear are turning heads everywhere they walk.

Disclaimer: I am a sneakerhead.  Six out of the 8 internet tabs I currently have open on my computer are pairs of sneakers I’m watching on Ebay.  It’s my passion, and really the only product I really spend money on. 

Now, being a sneakerhead, there are a few things that I naturally have a negative connotation towards.  Stairs, for example.  Until you start worrying about creasing in a toe-box you will never understand the natural disasters that stairwells are for sneakerheads.  Other avoidances are curbs, crowded hallways, rainy days, and of course the ignorant who try to give you a “flat tire”.

But the number one annoyance?  The thing that I will never be able to understand?  Never be able to forgive?

FAKE SNEAKERS

Have you no shame??  How do you not feel a decline in your self-worth when you walk around in colorways of Jays that have never existed?  When you wear Air Yeezy’s that you think are real because they “glow in the dark”??  Granted, I am a little bit biased.  Not only am I a sneakerhead, but I also am an employee at Foot Locker.  I believe the reason that I possess so much disdain to them, is because there is not a day that goes by that a customer doesn’t come in with some Air Gordans or some bootleg Schmeezys.

Now, as much as I dislike people who rock fakes, I can give a forgiving pass to those who simply don’t know.  They hear about the Jordan craze, try to go online and look for a deal, and find a Facebook ad that talks about a website that sells every Jordan for $20.  It’s ok, you don’t know any better.  Learn the game and move on.

But for you charlatans, you impostors, you intentional frauds: you will NEVER be forgiven!

We know you kickz aint real.  Don’t you dare come into my footlocker with your bootleg shoes, and try to lie to me about how you waited in line for them.  And don’t you DARE correct someone who tells you they’re fake.  It’s time for you to realize that being ok with rocking fake shoes is like hiring MC Hammer as your financial advisor. 

In the words of Jay Z: “Cus if you gonna cop something you gotta cop for real.”


(contributed by guest writer Mike Anderson)