The Six Year Plan - Starting a Band

Dear Reader,

As a college student, there are only a few things I truly care about. Some of these thing include, but are not limited to: alcohol, making it to class somewhat on time, alcohol, free food, ladies, alcohol, and my laptop. But hands down, the most important thing to college life is music. It usually comes up in conversation within the first five minutes of meeting a new person. See below:

-"Hi, I'm bro."
"Oh, hi! I'm slam-piece."
-"Has it been five minutes yet?"
"What?"
-"What music do you like?"

Point proven, however much of a stretch it may be. Think about it. Parties wouldn't be parties without the primal celebration ritual known as Dancing. Road trips would be completely awkward (let's be real, no one is interesting enough to talk for 5 hours straight...). And finally, I KNOW for a FACT that I would have either killed myself, or someone else, if they didn't play music at work...however bad the music might be...

So, reader, as you can see, music is important. That being said, you know that at some point in your life, however brief, you legitimately considered joining and/or starting a band. Hell, you probably don't even have any musical skills or talent, you just wanted to Live the Dream.

It's ok though. Everyone goes through these phases. Even someone like me, who's been in several bands and written a lot of music, has been fooled. Han Solo puts it best:

"I'm out of it for a little while and everybody gets delusions of grandeur."
―Han to Chewbacca


I have a pretty solid group of friends back home. We're all musically inclined, so when the drinks come out, so do the guitars. Ukeleles too. I want to say there have been at least five reincarnations of the same band throughout the years. Sure, we might add another instrument or two, a newbie might join the ranks of greatness, but at the end of the day, it's the same thing over and over again. Let me give you a taste of how fickle we are. Here's a list of all the genre/type's a bands we've been:

-Jam Band
-Jazz Ensemble
-Post-Punk
-Folkyness
-Indie Rock
-Piano Rock
- And finally, my new favorite, Sex-Rock.

The Family.

So, reader, what it really comes down to is that you shouldn't start a band. Don't even consider it. You'll just cry yourself to sleep at night because of how miserable you feel. Plus, that way my new Electro-Fuzz Bass N' Synth Duo will have less competition. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

Rock N Roll Will Take You To The Mountain!

Until Next Time

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